Overview
This lesson introduces Khadijah bint Khuwaylid, her position in Makkah, how she and Prophet Muhammad ﷺ came to marry, the family they raised together, and why later generations of Muslims have honoured her as one of the greatest women in Islamic history.
Context
Khadijah was already a well-established figure in Makkah before her marriage to Prophet Muhammad ﷺ. She belonged to the clan of Banu Asad, a respected sub-tribe of Quraysh. She was a merchant in her own right, financing caravans and hiring agents to trade on her behalf — a role that indicates the presence of women of independent means and public reputation in pre-Islamic Makkan society, even in a broadly patriarchal setting. She had been previously married and widowed. Traditional accounts describe her as around forty at the time of her marriage to the Prophet ﷺ, while he is described as around twenty-five; several modern researchers argue that these ages are approximations from later Seerah sources rather than firmly established dates, and that the actual age difference may have been smaller. What is not in dispute is that she was older and socially senior.
What this means
After hiring the young Muhammad ﷺ to lead a caravan on her behalf to Syria and hearing positive reports of his conduct — his fair dealing with buyers and sellers and his integrity in handling her goods — Khadijah proposed marriage. According to the early Seerah, an intermediary named Nafisah bint Munya carried the initial approach. The marriage was accepted, blessed by both families, and a mahr (bridal gift) was paid by the Prophet ﷺ. Their marriage lasted around twenty-five years, until Khadijah's death, and throughout that period he did not marry any other woman.
Their children
Together they had several children. The daughters were Zaynab, Ruqayya, Umm Kulthum and Fatimah — the last of whom would become one of the most influential women in early Islamic history. Traditional accounts also record sons named Qasim and Abdullah (also called at-Tayyib and at-Tahir in some reports), who died in infancy. The loss of a child was a personal grief the Prophet ﷺ experienced repeatedly. Later generations would remember his gentleness with children partly against this background.
Primary Islamic evidence
The most direct evidence for the character of Khadijah, and for her role at the beginning of revelation, comes from Sahih al-Bukhari and Sahih Muslim. When the first revelation came at the cave of Hira and Prophet Muhammad ﷺ returned home shaken, Khadijah reassured him with words that Muslim scholars have quoted for centuries: that Allah would never disgrace him because of his good character. The full narration is preserved in Sahih al-Bukhari, No. 3, in the Book of the Beginning of Revelation, and will be examined in the lesson on the First Revelation. The Prophet's ﷺ own later statements about Khadijah are also preserved in the strongest hadith collections. Aisha, another wife of the Prophet ﷺ, is reported to have said that she never felt jealousy toward any of his wives as much as she did toward Khadijah, though Khadijah had died before her marriage — because the Prophet ﷺ used to speak of her so often and so warmly.
Sahih al-BukhariBook: The Book of the Virtues of the Companions (Kitab al-Manaqib)№ 3818Ṣaḥīḥ (authentic)Graded by Al-Bukhari
“Aisha said: 'I never felt jealous of any of the wives of the Prophet ﷺ as much as I did of Khadijah, though she had died before he married me — because I often heard him mention her, and Allah had commanded him to give her the good news of a house in Paradise made of reeds. And whenever he slaughtered a sheep, he would send portions of it to her friends.'”
Context: Narrated by Aisha, in the Book of the Virtues of the Companions.
Source: Sahih al-Bukhari.
Additional historical evidence
Ibn Hisham, drawing on Ibn Ishaq, preserves the traditional account of the proposal and marriage. Ibn Sa'd in the Tabaqat records her lineage, her earlier marriages, and her children. Modern academic biographies including Watt's Muhammad at Mecca and Tariq Ramadan's In the Footsteps of the Prophet accept the general outline while noting that specific ages and dialogues are traditional.
What is firmly established
That Khadijah bint Khuwaylid was a respected Makkan merchant, that she and Prophet Muhammad ﷺ married after she employed him and was impressed by his character, that their marriage was monogamous throughout her life, that they had several children including the future mother of the Prophet's ﷺ grandchildren (Fatimah), and that Khadijah was the first person to believe in his prophethood and to support him materially and emotionally when the message began.
What is reported with less certainty
The exact ages of the spouses at marriage, the precise wording of the proposal, and some specific details of intermediary conversations are preserved in early Seerah reports and later biographical works rather than in the strongest hadith collections. Muslim scholars have long noted variation in these traditional details.
Why this matters
Khadijah's role complicates any lazy stereotype about the position of women in early Islam. She was older, financially independent, publicly active in trade, and the one who initiated the proposal — and none of this was seen as scandalous in the society of that time or the community that followed. She is not remembered only as 'the Prophet's ﷺ wife' but as a founder-figure of the Muslim community in her own right, a person whose belief and support at the earliest and most fragile moment of the message helped it survive.
Common misunderstanding
It is often assumed that all of the Prophet's ﷺ marriages fit a single pattern. They do not. His marriage to Khadijah was long, monogamous, initiated by her, and shaped by mutual respect between a young man of good character and a senior, financially independent woman. Later marriages, discussed in the character section of this course, have their own contexts — political, communal and pastoral — and cannot be understood by projecting one context onto another.
Application today
This lesson invites two things. First, honour Khadijah — read her story, teach it to your children, and let her example widen the way girls in your community imagine their futures. Second, look at your own most important relationships. Whose steadying presence made your best years possible? Have you told them so, while there is still time?
Timeline placement
Marriage: approximately 595 CE, when the Prophet ﷺ was in his mid-twenties. Ends with Khadijah's death, approximately 619 CE (the Year of Sorrow, covered in Part II). Their marriage spans the years before revelation and the first nine to ten years of the Prophet's ﷺ mission.
